The Quest – Neckbeard TV At Its Finest!

Let me preface this entire blog by saying Reality TV should have stopped at season one of Survivor back in the year 2000, yea 15 years ago…

It was a neat gimmick and concept that has most likely contributed to the demise of today’s society. In fact the only Reality TV I could stomach as of late is anything with Gordon Ramsay berating folks on his various cooking shows. Yes I used a pun there, and I am also using my fat card to admit to watching this sort of Reality TV.

I could watch Gordon call people Idiots and Stupid Twats all day – in most cases because it’s true. Most people who compete on these Reality TV types of shows are the dregs of human society. Don’t get me wrong you get the occasional single mother or father that work their butts off somewhere and are somewhat normal; but 80% of the cast are usually just wanna be street thugs – who work at some shitty corporate store chain – or you get the aspiring models that turn out to be bimbos, and of course there’s the fitness trainers who tend to lean more meathead then intelligent.

But this blog is not going to get into Hell’s Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, Master Chef, Hotel Hell, or The F Word. Holy shit Ramsay has cornered the market on Reality TV, I didn’t even realize it. Touché maybe I am all in when it comes to Reality TV…

The wife and I just so happened to be playing Netflix Roulette and discovered a new Reality TV show and genre. Apparently in July of 2014, ABC premiered a little gem called The Quest. You guessed it, a fantasy based Reality TV show that basically features the typical cheesy competition elements and Live Action Role Playing! We immediately started watching it – and much like a train wreck – could not stop watching it all the way to its completion.


The show features twelve people chosen from around the United States to join the battle for the Kingdom of Everealm! These twelve people are normal, average, everyday students, teachers, homemakers, executives, property managers, etc…


After a little research I found out that at least three out of the first five I looked up were actors. Hell one was a Price is Right model back in 2008! Oh and let’s not forget Shando the MMA Pit Fighter, but they admit to that in his BIO. Either way this particular Reality TV show was very entertaining. The Quest’s high fantasy setting was of course done in what seems to be the LARP capital of the world Austria. The Kingdom of Everealm’s consisted of a very large estate and castle outside of Vienna Austria called Sanctum. The location was beautiful and I must say they did a pretty good job with the cinematography and special effects.

Castle Sanctum

The Fates have summoned these twelve Paladins to help fight the evil forces of Verlox and find the one “true hero” that can assemble the Sun Spear to take him down. This part was a little perplexing to me as a true MMORPG player — where’s the Clerics, Mages, Warlocks, Wizards, Huntards, Rogues, Warriors, Berserkers, etc? Apparently The Quest just wanted to Paladin zerg Verlox! The Fates themselves were three mysterious oracles or an Asian chic, a bald African American, and of course the token Caucasian blonde girl. The Kingdom of Everealm is ruled by Queen Ralia, who takes council from a wormtonue-esque Grand Vizier, and of course her Knight in charge of the armies and the new found Paladins training Sir Ansgar. The Fates have a lackey named Crio who is also a Royal Steward to the stronghold that assists in leading the Paladins around the world of Everealm.

The Evil Verlox!

The Paladin’s make the journey to Everealm in the first episode and are attacked on the road by an Ogre who drags a royal guard into the woods never to be seen again. Watching the reaction of these twelve contestants was EPIC. They seemed truly caught off guard and slightly scared. Watching Shando, the MMA fighter btw, just sit there with wide eyes in shock and disbelief was well worth the price of admission. He even nuts up and says “We should have helped him and never let one person get us like that”  – It was hilarious! Come on Shando you should have round housed kicked that thing in its Ogre balls not be the first one sprinting the hell out of there! This was just a small glimpse of things to come throughout all ten episodes of the season.

The show had an elimination aspect to it much like all Reality TV shows. There was a competition every day to determine three Paladins to be sent to The Fates. The competitions were actually very entertaining to watch. Most competitions split the Paladins up into teams. They would then have to work together and operate medieval siege equipment to train and accomplish a task. There was also single competition that had the Paladin’s show up their Archery, Sword, and Horse Riding skills. All competitions were based off of some training aspect that would help the Paladins fend off the evil armies of Verlox when they arrived.

Wait I thought Paladins wore heavy armor? Must not be level 10 yet.

The bottom three competitors were sent to The Fates to face one last challenge for the day. They would compete with each other in another skill challenge and the winner would be safe from banishment. The losing two Paladins would be judged by their peers and the Paladin with the least amount of people standing behind them would be banished. It was actually cool and gut wrenching – depending who was up for banishment – to watch their reactions when they are told to turn around and face judgment aka see who was standing behind them.

Bawitdaba Dang Ditty!

Surprisingly enough there is not a lot of the clique forming, back stabbing, shit talking elements between the Paladins that follows the usual Reality TV fare. There is one Paladin who is a bit of weasel, the long haired Kid Rock looking Christian. Not our favorite Paladin and one we rooted against during every challenge. The show actually had me somewhat emotionally attached to some of the contestants that I either wanted to see fail or prevail in the end. I fully admit I was disappointed to see some of them eliminated. In the end the show was entertaining enough for us to blitz over the next four nights. The Quest is truly Neckbeard Reality TV at it’s best! Unfortunately I believe it was not renewed for a second season. Still fun to watch and giggle at!



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